Confusing Father Christmas

The run up to Christmas really has started, now that the kids have had their first visit with the big man in red himself, Father Christmas.

And, unlike previous years where the Wee Man was really quite wary of this strange bearded figure sitting in a gloomy cave, this year he was so excited he pretty much jumped up the steps and sat down excitedly next to him (unlike Bubby D, who looked at him nervously, wobbled her lip a bit, grabbed the proffered bag of treats and ran…).

‘So, young man, what’s your name?’ began Father Christmas, in appropriately cheerful and booming voice.

The Wee Man told him, and then looked at him expectantly.

‘And…have you been good this year?’ asked Father Christmas.

The Wee Man assured him he has, and that he is pretty sure he is in the ‘good book’.

‘Hohoho, so, what are you hoping you might get for Christmas this year?’ Father Christmas responded, clearly waiting for the response of ‘a train’ or ‘a bike’ or ‘a big bar of chocolate’.

‘Doggie Doo, that’s what I’d like!’ declared the Wee Man, looking hopeful.

Father Christmas stuttered, and turned a bit redder. ‘Umm..err…well, yes that’s not nice at Christmas, is it? I’m sure your Mummy will help you clean it up…’

The Wee Man looked confused.

Father Christmas looked confused.

They both sat there in silence for a little while.

‘Er…Father Christmas’ I whispered. ‘You know…Doggie Doo…the board game. It’s the one where you feed the dog, and then get points for cleaning up after it nicely’.

‘Oh, oh yes Doggie Doo, yes, er well I suppose if you’re good then you might just get that’ responded Father Christmas, with a mixture of baffled gratefulness and obvious partial horror at the fact you can actually get a game that is based on dog poo.

Obviously stumped for further appropriate responses, he suggested the Wee Man might like a bag of treats and then breathed a fairly audible sigh of relief as he accepted happily and moved on to let the next child in line move on in to offer up his requests.

‘It’s a good thing that I did get to see Father Christmas Mummy’ whispered the Wee Man ‘because I don’t think he did know that I wanted Doggie Doo, but now he does and he can make sure that the elves can make it’.

And I’m pretty sure Father Christmas was relieved to have had the specifics of Doggie Doo clarified, too.