Second time around

Prior to having children, I had a very ‘them and us’ mentality. Between those who have children, and those who don’t, is a gaping gulf of misunderstanding.

Now as a parent I can see that not only is there a divide between parent and non, but also between the different types of parents.

‘What did you do today?’ asks the Other Half. ‘Well, I took the Wee Man to preschool, and then Bubby D and I went to the new parents group’ I replied.

‘But you aren’t a new parent!’ exclaimed the Other Half.

Well. That is true. And it isn’t. I may already have had one child, and therefore having another does not qualify me as ‘new’ in a certain sense of the world. Yet, Bubby D is a ‘new’born (well she was – I think now she has about grown out of that phrase) and I am new to parenting again, parenting in a different type of way. As is the subject of many a discussion, looking after two is vastly different to looking after one.

And, having moved to this area after being truly ‘new’ (the Wee Man was 1 year old) but prior to having Bubby D, I can say that being ‘new mum of two’ is sometimes a lonely place.

No longer do I fit into the world of the ‘true’ new mothers, with only their individual offspring to think about whilst sitting around chatting over a cup of coffee, having seemingly all the time in the world to obsess over sleep logging, when and how often to feed, and whether that dribbling means teeth are about to emerge…

Often I feel looked upon as someone a little bit alien, that mother that has to rush off halfway through the group to pick up her toddler and submit to the as yet unknown world of coaxing a small person to eat their lunch without plastering most of it over the floor/mummy/the baby. The mother who cant meet up at the local cafe because although her baby might behave, the toddler is likely to wreak havoc and whine of boredom within 10 minutes of arriving, rendering all conversation impossible and therefore not worth attempting in the first place.

Yet neither do I fit into the local world of multiple mums – who, having already attended the groups with their first, made their friends, are now in a similar time constrained world of toddler and baby dictatorship, and have seemingly no time for forming new friendships. Where are all the friendly local mothers of 2 year olds and babies? There must be some!

I fear that until the Wee Man starts preschool proper next September, life is destined to be a series of ‘not quite new’ parent groups and ‘too new for us’ toddler activities. And by then, of course, I’ll be in another different category – the working Mum of two. And that’s a whole different group altogether…