EDF Off

Energy companies = the bane of my life.

One week ago, the landline rings. Totally inconvenient timing, when I’ve just managed to convince Bubby D after quite some time resisting that sleep is a good idea.

“Hello” says an over-enthusiastic voice on the other end. “I notice that you used to be a customer of EDF, and I’d like to know if I can interest you in coming back. “No” I say. “Oh, but do you have loft insulation?” he enquires. “Yes” I say, and hang up.

Two days ago, and I’m happily feeding Bubby D on the sofa when there is a knock on the door. Thinking it could be one of the Christmas gifts that I have ordered from the wonderful world of online, I decide its worth detaching her and getting up to answer.

Alas, it is totally not worth it.

”I’m not here to sell you anything” begins the woman standing at my door. The word “NPower” is also totally visible, written at the top of her clipboard. My heart sinks. Whenever I hear that phrase I know they clearly are going to try and sell me something, only its dressed up as *not* selling anything because I don’t have to part with hard earned cash straight away.

“Are you responsible for paying the bills?” she continues.

Well, responsible for making sure they ARE paid, yes. Actually responsible for earning to money to pay them? No, not directly. The fact that I’m standing before her in a dressing gown with a cross looking baby should give her a clue about that.

“Would you like one of these wonderful free gifts?” she continues. First, they aren’t free. They are dependent, once again, on me passing over my bank account details and going through a time consuming and usually painful process of switching supplier. I don’t call that free, even if I am not directly paying for them. Secondly, I would challenge the description “wonderful”:

won·der·ful [wuhn-der-fuhl]
adjective
1.
excellent; great; marvelous: We all had a wonderful weekend.
2.
of a sort that causes or arouses wonder; amazing; astonishing: The storm was wonderful to behold.
(www.dictionary.com)

 

A winning lottery ticket, that would be “wonderful”. A morning to myself, that would be “wonderful”. A couple of dodgy gift tokens, or some discounted loft insulation that we do not need are not “wonderful”.

I debate slamming the door in her face, then take pity and ask (reasonably) politely for her to leave, before slamming the door in her face.

This afternoon, returning from the Wee Man’s day of entertainments (playgroup, then soft play, then swimming – don’t know about him but I definitely needed a nap) I find a letter awaiting me on the doormat. One of those letters that you just know is not one you want to open.

“We have bought your debt from EDF” it announces. WHAT? Only a week ago they were begging me to come back to them! (which they have done several times over the last few months). Never has there been a mention of money owed. Neither have I received any correspondence from them other than the final bill – which I definitely attempted to pay via way of passing over my bank details to them on the phone – over the last more-than-a-year since we moved into this house and I immediately switched our supply to E-On. If this is their latest cunning ploy to impress me into retaining their services then it has seriously failed.

One thing is for sure. EDF can EDF-off. And preferably take the NPower lady with them.