Keeping in touch – a day back at the office

Somehow the days and weeks have turned into months…and suddenly, today I found myself sitting on an underground train – ON MY OWN.

Not a child in sight.

Which was a bit weird, and also a bit scary – because it heralds the start of the process of going back to work.

Today was my first day back in the office since going on maternity leave to have Little B, and the first time I’ve left her for any extended period as well. So I was a bit nervous about how she would cope, about whether I could get my brain to focus on anything other than baby, and also about whether my boobs might explode.

All indications so far are that it’s not as bad as I feared it might be. Updates throughout the day have suggested that Little B is faring perfectly well with the Other Half. I managed to mix a shot of coffee sufficiently with some very chocolatey hot chocolate so that I could drink it and stay awake without feeling ill (I am not a coffee drinker in general). And my boobs are still intact!

Admittedly I’m not home yet. But I’m keeping my fingers crossed that I’ll arrive back at the house to a scene of peaceful, smiling tranquility – and I’m glad that I had the opportunity to go and get a feel of how things have changed since I went on maternity leave eight months ago. Because they HAVE changed, a lot! Sitting in a team meeting, pretty much everything discussed was totally new to me, and a lot of the faces around the table were new too. Coming back into that situation is kind of like being in a weird twilight zone; you are the ‘new girl’ in many ways, and yet not actually new at all…

I know from today that I’m not ready yet to get back to work on a regular basis – happy though Little B might seem she’s still too small for me to feel comfortable leaving her, and I am still not getting enough sleep to function effectively. There have been several times today where I’ve been talking to someone, then the words have just left my head and I’ve been standing there with my mouth hanging open like a loon. I’m thinking I probably need to work on that a bit!

But there is no denying that the time is coming.

So it was good to have the opportunity to keep in touch.