I got tagged in one of those things, by a couple of people (remind me who you are if you read this, I’m sorry I forget!) where it has been requested that I share 20 things about myself. Coming up with 20 things off the top of my head is surprisingly difficult, so below you will find a lot of random crap.
Here they are:
1. Bananas confuse me. When I think about bananas, I think I don’t like them, but on the occasions where I actually eat them I realise I do. Even with that realisation, the next time I see a banana, I still can’t convince myself I like them. It’s true that they need to be exactly at the right point in the banana scale (not green, not brown, just perfectly ripe) but then, even if they are a bit brown, they are delicious (so I tell myself, even though again I don’t believe it til I eat it) made into banana cake. It’s cake. Of course it’s great. And don’t get me started on the superlambanana.
2. It snowed on the day I was born. Which was in April. The 24th, being precise. In recent years that isn’t such a crazy thing but at the point I was born it was a very crazy occurrence, so I’m told. I don’t remember it of course.
3. I have never created a world of dominoes.
4. I love sailing, especially when the water is choppy. This may be something to do with feeling unbalanced generally on firm ground.
5. Zombies are a little obsession of mine. I heard someone say the other day (possibly on TV) that zombies are pointless because they have no ambition. They don’t try and destroy the planet like aliens do. They don’t try and take over other countries to dictate in them like dictators do. There’s no saving the world like superheroes, or attempting to dominate it like the superbaddies. They just crave brains, and make more zombies. And well…surely that is the point of zombies isn’t it? So how can you say they’re pointless? (I would also like to point out that the computer games and television industries would be far more boring without them too).
6. I believe there is only one way to do the washing up. And that is ‘the right way’.*
7. I wish cowboys existed in this country. Sometimes I like to daydream about it and consider how different they’d be from American cowboys. There are sleeveless vests involved usually, and copious beer drinking.
8. I’ve said hello to a great white shark, literally to it’s face. It probably couldn’t hear me because we were both underwater and it was more focussed on trying to eat me, but luckily it couldn’t since there was a metal cage between me and it. I’d just had breakfast (tomato, egg and something else I can’t remember) so I wasn’t interested in eating the shark either.
9. The noise of heavy rain is one of my favourite things. If it’s nighttime, I like to sit in the dark and listen to it. I like the noise it makes hitting the tent when I’m camping too, it’s a slightly different cadence. Again it’s best at nighttime, so that I can explore without rain during the day.
10. And talking of exploring, the most amazing place I’ve ever explored is the Great Barrier Reef. It reminded me why most things in life are really inconsequential, but in a good way.
11. I don’t own a dog.
12. I’ve set myself a challenge to eat every kind of pie there is.** Next up, Bedfordshire clanger.
13. Kestrels come up in my conversation a lot. The first time I learnt what a kestrel was, I was in primary school. I had to write quite a long assignment about them. Obviously they are now ingrained into my brain. A bit like otters, which I have never written an assignment about, although I did write this otter poem instead.
14. I wonder who discovered glue, and how many different kinds there are. Also, if glue is delivered in glue lorry tankers, how do they stop it sticking to the edges of the tanker? Would a glue layer build up over time so that the amount of glue that can be transported decreases for every journey? Where do glue lorries go to die? I get that strictly speaking, this isn’t a thing about me but I suppose what I’m getting at is I’m kind of a curious person.
15. I used to have a labret piercing. I took it out to get a job after university. I still think it’s there sometimes and try to play with it.
16. When I was five, my favourite dress had a picture of a lighthouse on it.
17. I used to think cats eyes in the road actually were like little bunkers with cats hiding inside them.
18. I’m kind of sad to have been disillusioned about the cats eye thing.
19. I don’t like butter in my sandwiches.
20. I have a small child asleep on my leg. This is not entirely unusual, but if you were to travel back in time ten years, it would be highly unexpected given that I was pretty much the most unmaternal person ever. Kids have crept up on me. Turns out they aren’t as weird as I expected.
* run sink full of hot soapy water, so hot you can barely stand to put your hands in it. Anything that is caked with disgust, put hot water in that separately with a squirt of soap and then leave to one side. Then wash glasses first in the hot soapy sink. Rinse. Wash cutlery. Wash lightly soiled plates. Rinse. Wash anything more heavily soiled. Pour out the water. Place the items of disgust in the sink, scrub off the now softened disgust. Clean the sink and try not to vomit. Vow to never cook or eat anything again.
** Unless the pies have strawberries, which I am allergic to, in which case vicarious pie indulgence is required.