That’s the question I asked myself as I was lying in bed in the early hours of the morning the other night, and following a particularly intense braxton hicks contraction, I suddenly felt the bed get pretty wet.
At which point I started panicking slightly.
I was pretty sure it was just that (somewhat embarassingly) I’d wet myself. But equally I was having (and had been having) pretty regular tightenings for the last half hour or so which were stopping me sleeping.
So I stood up, and surveyed the mattress, and gibbered a bit.
And then looked at ‘stuff mountain’, and considered the fact that if this WAS labour, then I really was woefully underprepared.
Luckily, as it turns out, it was just a reminder from Pippin that he or she will be making an entrance into the world soon, and not the start of labour (or so my consultant informed me after declaring me a little dilated as is normal for a ‘multip’ – which is apparently consultant speak for ‘has had babies before’ – but not watery, somewhat engaged but not totally, and pretty much on target for where I should be).
But it did mean that I had to finally start facing the fact that I think I’ve been putting off actually thinking about properly for the last few weeks…or months even….that very, very soon we will have a tiny newborn baby in our lives. I’ve realised that I’ve been procrastinating – getting DIY done, tidying things, cleaning, sorting out random cupboards but not actually making my way through the haphazard mountain of baby stuff and half packed hospital bags because somehow by doing that IT WILL BE REAL.
Which of course it will be.
And which I was reminded of, as I stood there and considered what it would actually be like if Pippin were to make an appearance right now. Exhilerating. Scary. Unexpected. But dealable-with.
And I also felt a little bit sad, because I know this will be my last pregnancy and much as I am uncomfortable, tired, hormonal, lacking in energy and fast depleting my bank balance due to the massive quantities of olives I am making my way through I know I will also miss the feeling of having a little life slowly unfurling inside me (and having an excuse for eating such vast quantities of olives too!).
So this week I also had a ‘bump to baby’ photoshoot. Or at least the first half of it anyway.
It was a really nice way to start my maternity leave, with my hair being styled and my makeup done before having a variety of shots taken of my now pretty big bump, stretch marks, linea nigra, popped out belly button and all.
The photographer got some lovely photos and I had a hard time whittling it down to just a couple – but in a few weeks we’ll be heading back to get some pictures of Pippin on the outside and I know I’ll want to get lots of those!