Crocodiles begone – we need a better bathroom…

Baths are often a bit ‘marmite-y’ I find. In our case literally, since the kids love marmite and they also seem to have an inability to get it in their mouths, aiming instead for clothing, arms and hair. Inevitably, this all ends up washing off them and becoming a big marmitey ring around the bath, awaiting a decent scrub by yours truly.

But in the non-literal sense, what I actually meant was that some people love baths, and some people (such as my sister, who mutters about not wishing to lie around in a pool of your own filth or something…) really don’t like them, preferring to stick to showering.

I am firmly in the loving baths camp. I can easily, given the chance, lie around in one for an hour. Often this is due to the fact that its the only way I can make my body feel better, since water works amazingly well as pain relief for me. I also like to have them super hot, so that after an hour they are still lukewarm enough to enjoy.

 

When we looked around our house before buying it, I really liked the look of bathroom. For starters, it had a bath and a shower, catering for all types of washing preference. Secondly, it looked nice. But unfortunately, having moved in, that’s where the bathroom greatness has ended. Turns out, there are quite a few little (and some quite big) niggles preventing that all enjoyable bathing experience…

 

…and here is Sammy the Sock Snake to tell you all about it.

Sammy the Sock Snake stars in ‘Crocodiles, Begone – A bathroom makeover’

And for those of you who don’t like videos / can’t understand snakes / just want a little reminder, here’s a little run through just for you:

1. The towel radiator is basically just a hazardous lump of metal adorning the wall.

It’s rusty, and it doesn’t work – pretty obvious seeing as the wiring ends in…well, nothing. The previous owners solution? Drill a hole through the wall, and into the bedroom to plug into the wall switch.

Bathrooms have isolator switches for a reason, I’m thinking. Which is why, even if it did work, we wouldn’t be using that solution. Instead, I’d like a new towel rail – one that works, and has a little shelf at the top for lovely warm, justgotoutofthebath towels.

2. The flush on the toilet likes to be pumped repeatedly, should you wish it to actually flush the toilet.

We’ve tried fixing it several times, each time to no avail.

Great if you want a bit of an arm workout. Not so good if you just want to flush and go.

So I’d like a new one. One that you just push, and it flushes. That would be good.

3. The hot tap in the bath isn’t working. This causes somewhat of a problem if you wish to have a bath. The current solution is a hosepipe attached to the basin, which runs into the bath.

It works, but it really isn’t a permanent problem solver.

I’d like the tap to be a mixer tap, just so we can have one stream of warm water running into the bath rather than one freezing one and one (when it’s working) that’s hotter than hell. Ideally, because I like waterfalls, I’d like a waterfall one. But really, any working tap would do.

4. The bathroom blind is disgusting, covered in mildew. It’s also not easily washable.

I’d love to replace it with something slatty, white, and easy to wipe down.

5. The bathroom is covered in silly small tiles. When we first moved in, the grout had been painted over so you couldn’t see it was yucky.

Now you can see it’s yucky. I’ve tried groutbuster, bleach, shiny sinks, and toothpaste, and none of them has worked.

So I’d like less tiles, and therefore less grout = less grout scrubbing for me. Mmm, big shiny white tiles. Lovely.

 

6. I’d like a handrail. The Ehlers Danlos Syndrome means I’m not that good at standing up. Add in slipperiness, and the dangers increase somewhat. A handrail would be massively helpful in allowing me to exit the bath safely, if not gracefully. (There’s no picture of the handrail because…well, I don’t have one yet!)

7. Crocodiles are living in the bath. This is because the plug is not attached to the bath, and we are too scared to put our hands in the water and pull it out ourselves.

Honestly, that’s the truth…well, the lack of attachment thing, anyway…

Basically I’d just like a plug that works. I don’t think that’s too much to ask? Oh, and a crocodile hunter.

8. Whoever previously designed the bathroom thought it was a good idea to put the shower unit outside the bath. I’m sorry to tell them that actually, unless you have extremely long arms, it’s a really STUPID idea.

This is because once you are in the bath, with the shower screen out, you can’t reach the controls. Which means you can’t turn it off, or adjust the temperature.

When you open the screen to get out and turn it off, the whole bathroom gets sprayed.

Once again, STUPID. Therefore, the shower needs relocating – to a far more sensible, inside the bath enclosure type of situation. In order to make this more likely, I’d like a bath with a rounded bit at the end. More room for my bottom, more room for the kids to play, and more room for the shower. If it was one of those rain showers, then so much the better.

9. The floor. It’s tiled, its cracked, its uneven. It’s basically a recipe for disaster. That’s why I’d like a new, flat one. Perhaps a black laminate one. I think that would work.

And that’s it. My list of ‘better bathroom’ demands…

To help demonstrate these demands further, I have created a Pinterest Board.

One day it will all be mine.

But perhaps, with the help of Tots 100 and Rated People, it might be sooner rather than later?