The dragon that lives in our house – and his recipe for a dream bathroom

There’s a dragon in our house!

That’s according to the Wee Man, anyway.

And apparently, he’s less than impressed with the facilities. ‘He isn’t cross about the kitchen, Mummy’ the Wee Man informs me ‘because he has fire breath. He can cook ANYWHERE HE WANTS, he doesn’t need a beep’.

(If you’re wondering what a beep is, it’s the name for the microwave in this house. And it’s lucky that The Dragon doesn’t have a longing to use it, because, much like a lot of the stuff in our humble abode, it doesn’t work).

But unfortunately, it seems that the bathroom really isn’t up to scratch.

‘The Dragon is sad that he can’t use the toilet flusher’ the Wee Man solemnly informs me. ‘And the bath is not big enough. There isn’t room for The Dragon, and me, and Bubby D all at the same time, EVEN if he curls up small’.

And those aren’t his only complaints…

‘The Dragon is too cold’ continues the Wee Man. ‘He wants a big heater, and towels to make a den. If he gets too cold, he uses his fire breath and ALL THE WATER TURNS TO STEAM. Then I can’t have a bath’.

‘DIRTY!’ interjects Bubby D (one of her current favourite words).

Hmm, well it looks like our recent discussion – given the Wee Man’s worry about how puddles disappear – about the precipitation cycle and evaporation has made an impact on some level, hooray!

But on the minus side, I’m fairly afraid that I really have to agree with The Dragon about the shocking bathroom service on offer.

We have a hot tap that doesn’t work, a toilet that doesn’t flush, an uneven and cracked floor and a shower system that not only leaks but is also positioned in such a manner that it’s impossible to turn on or off, or adjust, once you’re actually using it. The towel rail has decided to go on heating strike, and the bath is a bit of a squeeze for a ‘mummy and two kids’ pool party now they’re getting bigger. So, dragon, I hear what you’re saying. It really does need a change.

But what would we change it to?

The Wee Man and the dragon had a think, and this is what they came up with:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KvvgoQOQp8M

 

Personally, I’m not so sure about having a blue psychadelic floor. Or a transparent bath (do such things exist)? But hey, the dragon seems happy so that’s good news…

And from my point of view, the bathroom that I’m dreaming of would be a little more like the Sorea M100 Shower Bath Suite from Bathshop 321. I’d love an L shaped bath – room for me at the big end, and the kids at the other, really maximising the bathroom space we have available – and perhaps with a hot tap that actually dispenses water! And a toilet that flushes with the touch of a button, rather than repeated pumping of a temperamental handle would also be a real luxury. And then, a heated towel rail full of warm, fluffy towels to snuggle up in after a relaxing soak in soothingly scented bubbles…well…it may not be much of a dream. But the simple things are often the best, and I don’t want much – just a bathroom that works and perhaps an odd half hour here and there to enjoy it. Baths for me are the best way to soothe my painful joints and to get myself moving in the morning, and in the evening they’re a fun way to spend some time just playing with the Wee Man and Bubby D. So having a bathroom that works would be a real bonus for us.

What a very pleasant daydream.

And perhaps, one day, a pleasant reality?

Until then, we’re stuck in imaginary dragon land. On the plus side, he’s really quite handy in the kitchen…