Giraffes

I like giraffes.

I have never come across anything I didn’t like about them. They’re tall and a bit akward looking, and I’m short and a bit akward looking. I like that they have blue tongues and they can lick ants out of their noses. (Maybe I just dreamed that, but I’m pretty sure its true. If it isn’t, please don’t disenchant me. I’d be quite sad to think that ants could climb into a giraffes nose and they’d have no way of getting them out of there).

Also, they can sleep standing up! Apparently this is so that they can run away from lions quickly. Sleeping standing up (without falling over) seems like a useful skill to have whether there are lions around or not, in my opinion. I think if humans could sleep standing up, then the morning tube ‘sardine’ run might be a much different place to be – imagine being able to have a lovely catnap (or should that be giraffenap?) on the way to work, arriving feeling refreshed and happy without the groggy waking experience of being stuck in a sweaty businessman’s armpit the majority of the way.

Giraffes don’t have a ‘noise’ either. It’s a good job Old Macdonald didn’t have any on his farm (generally giraffes are not a standard farm animal, I believe) as it’d all get a bit akward with a —— here, a —— there…

Giraffes are a good colour – not too in your face, quirky pattern, and they have broccoli bits on their heads. I’m sure if I described a human in that fashion I’d be called prejudiced, but as far as I’m aware, it’s allowed when describing animals. If not, then I do apologise to any offended giraffes who may be reading this.

Things named after giraffes usually, in my experience, seem to be pretty awesome too.

The restaurant ‘ Giraffe’ is great for the simple fact that it has mini giraffe stirrers that live in smoothies. I have a green one that watches over my bedroom. I like to think that if we were ever burgled, it’d spring to life and shoot laser beams from its eyes. (Again, that may have been something I’ve dreamed. I do tend to dream a lot of random things).

Funky Giraffe Bibs are great too. I came across them at the Baby Show, and I’ve been very impressed with how they wash up so cleanly, how comfortable they seem, and how well they stay on and catch all the mammoth amounts of dribble that Bubby D seems to have been churning out lately. They look pretty cute too! Bubby D has one with a very friendly looking owl printed on it, which goes with most of the things she wears. Marvellous!

And many a baby is seen about with the well known Sophie the Giraffe, merrily chewing on her broccoli’s or attempting to give her a multiple limb amputation. I have to say, the Wee Man never had a Sophie, and although Bubby D does have one, she’s actually called Suzie and Bubby D seems more interested in chewing the toy tie she’s attached to than the giraffe itself, but then maybe that’s because she agrees with me that giraffes are splendid and not to be nibbled on.

So there you have it. Giraffes are great. Which is why G is for giraffe.