One plus one equals…five?

Reading a parenting magazine in a rare moment of me time this morning, I came across the following:

DID YOU KNOW…A two year age gap can create strong feelings of jealousy. It can be easier when the gap is 15 months or less, or four years or more.
(Practical Parenting and Pregnancy, Dec 2011)

With the Wee Man being a happy surprise, we weren’t sure how long it would take if we planned to have another child. After discussion with the Other Half, the conclusion was that we needed at least a two year age gap – firstly on the recommendation of the consultant due to my medical condition, and secondly due to our finances.

The allotted ‘go for it!’ date arrived, and so we went for it. And that’s all it took!

Wee Man’s birthday – 9th August 2009. Bubby D’s birthday – 22nd August 2011. Practically bang on two years. Uh oh.

After hearing horror stories from my own mother about how I used to taunt and bite my younger sister (surely not…) I was a bit concerned how the Wee Man might deal with a miniature usurper arriving. Reading up on the subject, I made sure he was read the right books, involved with choosing things for the new baby, and attended my scan appointment at 35 weeks. We got him a doll, and he was very caring towards it, pushing it around in its own miniature pushchair and bathing it and changing its nappy.

Then the big day arrived, and Bubby D was here! Wee Man came to visit in hospital, and was showered with gifts from relatives wanting to make sure he did not feel left out. This is after going on holiday for a week mid July, having a birthday party at the end of July, and then his actual birthday celebration in early August. All in all an action packed few weeks of treats and fun.

The Wee Man seemed fairly unfazed by Bubby D being around, and was generally caring and friendly towards her. For a week or two.

Then, the visits died down, the Other Half went back to work, and normal life of preschool, nursery, and staying home with Mummy began – except the new normality had this tiny, milk sucking, attention demanding, wailing little person in it too.

And with the new normality, has come the new Wee Man – clingy, demanding, and always wanting Mummy. On top of the standard toddler tantrums you might expect from a two year old, coupled with new found abilities and a constant cry of ‘I DO IT’. Bubby D’s feeding times normally consist of her sucking frantically with wide eyes, attempting to get as much as she can while the Wee Man scales my shoulders and demands ‘horsey, Mummy!’, flailing his legs in a clearly deliberate attempt to kick her in the head. The Wee Man has also decided that he needs to be carried everywhere, and only by Mummy, unless it would be totally inconvenient for him to walk in which case he only wants to walk and refuses to be carried or pushed in the pushchair. Mealtimes often involve an agonising hour of the Wee Man eating as slowly as possible, and only if I sit next to him on a tiny chair, spurring him on. By bedtime I am practically pulling my hair out in frustration, as Bubby D inevitably wants feeding, while the Wee Man insists that only Mummy bathing him and putting him to bed will do.

The end result? It seems my magazine may well be right. The jealousy has definitely kicked in, and looking after two kids sometimes feels like looking after 5 (I imagine. I’ve definitely no urge to find out just yet. Or in fact, maybe ever…)