P-p-p….

Why I like penguins:

1/ They’re black and white. That means they go with just about anything. You never see penguins arguing about the colour scheme for a wedding, do you?
2/ They have a walk which makes my lopsided gait look almost normal.
3/ The dads have to do the majority of early child rearing while the mums head off and hunt for food. I reckon that hunt doesn’t take half as long as the mums say it does, they’re actually just round the corner enjoying a bit of ‘me time’ with their feet up in the local penguin spa…
4/ Do Ocado deliver to the South Pole? Getting your fish delivered seems a whole lot less hassle. And thats what Ocado are there for, of course.
5/ 4 above wasn’t really a reason to like penguins, unless you’re talking about the chocolate kind, which I’m sure Ocado do deliver and which I also like. Back to actual penguins, I like the yellow eyed ones in Dunedin because they came up to me and said hello when I visited them. Not literally, but in a kind of looking straight at you, beady eyed staring kind of way.
6/ They’ve left the North Pole to the Polar Bears, without feeling the need for some kind of pole domination war.
7/ Penguins do not dip humans in their tea. Thats about it to be honest. I’m sure there are more reasons but right now, they’re eluding me.

In conclusion, penguins are GREAT. All hail the penguins.